Pain vs. Progress for Burned-Out High Achievers

Burnout, hustle culture, and overachieving can make it nearly impossible to see your own progress — even when it's right in front of you.

This week, an unglamorous moment at boxing class stopped me cold and forced me to notice what months of quiet, unseen work had actually done. It cracked open a bigger pattern: why high achievers stay locked on the problem instead of the progress, why we do the same thing at work and in our relationships, and why celebrating small wins matters more than it gets credit for.

I get into nervous system regulation, self-care, and why criticism-heavy cultures grind people down instead of sharpening them — plus this week's practice, Pain vs. Progress, a simple exercise for noticing what you've been too busy hurting to see.

If you're burned out, overwhelmed, or tired of running on empty, this one will help you notice what's actually working and start shifting out of survival mode.

This is the audio companion to this week's issue of The Weekly Recharge.
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Transcript

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So I puked at boxing last week and I actually smiled, brushed it off, drank some water, and just kept going. To rewind a little bit, the week before I jumped rope for the first time since my three surgeries, which is something that would have set me back a year ago. Last week, two days in a row, there were zero incidents. I had no pain. And then mid-power hooks, my body just had that gurgle gurgle sensation that I initially tried to brush off. And good thing I made a beeline to the bathroom, or else my morning protein shake would have been on the floor mixed with all of our sweat. See, a couple months ago, I was still stuck in daily pain, and I was so focused on that pain that I couldn't see the progress happening underneath it. The breath work, the consistency, the decision to keep putting myself first, in ways that felt too small to matter. But they did matter, and they were compounding. My body had just finally reminded me. What do the kids say these days? Handed me the receipt. The thing is, though, we do this everywhere, not just with our bodies. At work, we get so locked into the problem. The missed deadline, the underperforming project, the employees that are just pissing us off and not doing something the way that we want them to, that we stop noticing the team member who has quietly gotten better every single month, or the version of ourselves as leaders who used to react but now pauses first. The problem is loud. The progress is quiet. Loud always wins, unless you go looking for the quiet. And in relationships, this is the one that gets us. We get so deep in our own hurt, the annoyance, the loneliness, the ways that someone else's actions have let us down, that we stop seeing the actual person and putting ourselves in their perspective. We only see what they're doing to us. And look, that hurt is real and it's valid. But it's also possible that they're just as lonely. And some of that loneliness might be sitting across the table from them, how you've been showing up too. Nobody's the villain in any of these stories. We're all just so buried in our own pain that we lose the ability to see anyone else's or our own progress standing right next to it. But it's time to start celebrating the wins. I had spent almost a decade on the fire department, and I'll be honest, it was a culture built on what went wrong. What you missed, what you fucked up, what needed to be fixed. The attaboys were pretty rare, and you'd think in a high-stakes job like that that criticism would sharpen people, but it doesn't. It grinds people down. It makes you stop trying harder because nothing you do ever seems to register or be good enough. It turns out that research backs this up. According to a report in 2025, 90% of employees say that they're more likely to put in extra effort when their work actually gets noticed. And it's not even about the big milestones. There's another finding that shows that a quarter of those employees want recognition for their daily efforts, not just those huge wins. I can get you the references if you're like my crazy 11th grade English teacher, Mrs. Logan, who truly ruins the phrase carpe diem for me. It's just been too long to remember what the fuck APA formatting is, if that even exists anymore. See, but the small, consistent I see you is what keeps people going. That is true of the people around you, and it's true for you too. Celebrating all of the wins along the way, yours or someone else's, it's what gives us the fuel and the purpose to keep going. And if pain or stuckness is the thing that you can't seem to quite outthink, this is where brain spotting comes in. Brain spotting is something I love utilizing to help those that I work with. And if this is something that you want to work on, removing pain that's stuck or finally seeing the progress that's been buried underneath it, I would love to do a session with you. While I recommend walking alongside with you to work on what has been keeping you stuck through a customized plan of action in multiple sessions, those that I've worked with have seen some pretty wild results just after one session. Things like taking action on things that they've been procrastinating on for months, areas where they no longer feel blocked or held back, real shifts in their own belief systems, even changes in their mood and posture. The body holds on to this shit. It lets go when you meet it in the right way. So if you want to book a brain spotting session, the link is gonna be in the show notes in the description. So I would love to see what's ready to move with you. So this week's practice is gonna be pain versus progress. I want you to sit down and grab something to write on. Pick one thing that's been a real frustration in your life lately. First thing I want you to do is make two columns. In the first one, write down everything about it that has been a pain in your ass. All of it, no filter. And number two, I want you to fill in the second column by writing down the progress that you've been overlooking and the things that you have been grateful for. Number three, I want you to sit with it. The second column might feel pretty hard at first, but I want you to let it come to you. Some of what surfaces might actually surprise you. And four, I want you to ask the real question: what progress are you not seeing right now in your body, your work, your relationships, because you have been so focused on the pain. And lastly, I want you to find something that pumps you the fuck up. If you find yourself so focused on the problems and pain in your life, put on some motivational music or take up a class that gets your body moving, or even go along with like a YouTube video, find a hip-hop dance video. You don't have to be good at it. That weird drum dance video thing where you hound on stuff, take up boxing, listen to one of those motivational videos that look like the rock is in it or something that tells you how powerful you are and pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Shoot me a message if you need any more ideas. I got plenty of them. But find something that just pumps you up and start doing it. It truly might surprise you how much better you start to feel. And then this week on the Hustle Rebels podcast, you eat too fast, you scroll too fast, you rest too fast, if you rest at all. So in this solo episode, I broke down why so many high achievers like us can't slow down when nothing's even stopping them. So from treating a six-ounce steak like a 30-second deadline to the three words that my coach had told me, take your time that cracked my entire programming wide open. If you look successful on paper, but you feel tired to your bone and guilty for sitting still, that one is your permission slip. And then this week, that preview becomes the real thing when I sit down with attorney-turned life coach Leslie Pennick for the full conversation. So you'll be able to watch it on YouTube and also on all of your favorite podcast platforms. The links are also in the show notes and descriptions. And if you're new here or feeling nostalgic, feel free to check out all of the previous episodes right down there in the show notes and description as well. And while you're at it, go ahead and subscribe to the weekly recharge newsletter and the Hustle Rebels podcast so you don't miss any nervous system regulation tips and techniques, along with just giving yourself permission to put yourself first. We deserve to celebrate the wins along the way, even if they're small. So let's all together just stop focusing on the pain so much and start focusing on the achievements. You may actually see a lot more progress without even having to try. You fucking got this.